“The key to building deep, meaningful connections is by having intentional conversations.”
“We need to be having conversations that matter. We need to be having conversations that move the needle forward and that is what we call HEART conversations: honest, elephant-sized, authentic, real, transparent.”
Honesty – As much as we value honesty, we don’t necessarily encourage it with the cultures we create at work. Honesty, as it pertains to our conversations with people, is really the only reason to have a conversation.
Elephant-Sized – This can go two ways: addressing the elephant in the room or addressing an elephant-sized issue. We should be addressing the elephant in the room, but one conversation at a time, in an effort to get on top of it.
Authentic – Why are we afraid to show up as our most authentic selves? Part of that has to do with the fact that we might get rejected. What if they don’t like who I really am? So we spend a lot of time pretending, and when our authentic self starts to show up, there is tension. In our conversations with one another, we should be valuing showing up as our most authentic selves.
Real – This is not just about being real, it’s about addressing real issues in real time. The issue that is the issue today may not be what we’re addressing, because we end up addressing an issue from three months ago.
Transparent – We have our guard up, and we don’t want to be vulnerable. The very definition of vulnerability means to be exposed, to put yourself in a position to be wounded. However, there’s no way in a meeting, in front of the entire team I’m leading as the CEO, that I would get up and be vulnerable and say, ‘I actually have no idea how to address the problems we’re facing. I don’t know how to lead my team through this.’ No one is saying that, however I think that if we did say that in our meetings, maybe we would have an opportunity to surface real issues in real time, encourage everyone to show up as their most authentic selves, and then move forward with plans that really make change.
“If you think about the process of growth, we don’t grow overnight. Growth doesn’t always happen with big boisterous efforts. It’s the small daily discipline to continue to lean in, to continue to fail forward.”
4 Steps of the Growth Process
Unconscious Ignorance – We don’t know what we don’t know
Conscious Ignorance – We recognize that there are things we don’t know
Conscious Competence – We realize that I didn’t know this before, but now that I do, I have the ability to change
Unconscious Competence – We no longer have to think about it; it’s a part of who we are and what we do, much like riding a bike
“The way that you engage HEART Convos every single day is learning the acronym, leaning into these conversations daily, and start developing your community.”
Learn more about Kristen’s work with HEART Convos here.
Watch Kristen’s Keynote
Kristen “KB” Newton is the creator and founder of HEART Convos, where she provides practical insight on navigating our relationships and tough conversations. Following the death of George Floyd, Kristen led a webinar and intensive with four other leaders called 5 Key Elements to Addressing Injustice In America. Kristen has helped thousands of individuals and several teams and companies have the HEART conversation. She provides practical insight, you engage the content and start navigating your connections well. Many who don’t have this insight are growing more discontent in their connections but those who are doing the work are thriving in troubled times; she wants you to be one of them. She looks forward to working with you and teaching you how to have the HEART conversation.